Tuesday, April 19, 2011

P Is For...

"Panic Induced Psychological Meltdown"

I wasn't going to post about this at first since I've been thinking about it too much as is, but I feel like I need to save people from experiencing my brand of crazy. 

As I'm sure you all know, everyone says do not DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT I repeate DO NOT google your symptoms and try to self-diagnose yourself via the interwebs.

Why?  Because you will end up on your computer from 9 pm to 6 am obsessing over every random piece of information, semi-related website, Yahoo answer and message board you can find.  You will scare yourself to death.  You will wonder what your doctor has not told you and why she would be keeping information from you.  You will only get two hours of anxiety-ridden sleep.  You will be convinced you are a dead girl walking.  You will make plans to move back in with your parents, begin writing your own eulogy and decide who your cats should go to in your will.

You will also drive your boyfriend absolutely coo-coo bananas and he will say something along the following lines, ad naseum: "Stop worrying.  Just think positive.  You're jumping to conclusions.  Calm down." and "You're going to make me tear my hair out."

Vague diagnosis + hypchondriac + severe clinical anxiety + recent death in the family = worst possible combination

I'm pretty sure there should be a box you check when you fill out a new patient form at a doctor's office.  Hypochondriac?  Yes or no.  That way they will know when they have crazies on their hands that need to be handled with kidgloves.  Otherwise they will end up receiving tearful calls the minute their practice opens to which their immediate response will be "uhhhhhhhhh........"

I'm not going to tell you all what I was so obsessively googling.  Just don't do it.  Just.  Don't.

Do as I say and not as I do.

For now I'm just going to say all is well until proven otherwise.  Yeah.  I'm going with that.


Talei said...

Ha! I have had many sleepless nights doing the same, and on the other hand, I do feel armed with info when I turn up to the Doctors.

Hope you're feeling better? ;-)

Missed Periods said...

Yes, all is well until proven otherwise. I Googled it.

Liz said...

It's good (and bad!) to hear I'm not the only one who does this.

LOL thank you MP, I will trust what you say then.

I've managed not to do any googling tonight!