Saturday, April 23, 2011

S Is For...

"Say What??"

Yikes, I'm behind again!

First of all I would like to say a big thanks to San who gave me a shout out on her blog.  Thank you from one "cat lady" to another!

Now, on to the most horrifying cab-riding experience I've ever had which left me saying:

I've had a variety of different cab riding experiences since the nigh on 5 years I've been in NYC.  I've had nice cab drivers, cranky cab drivers, drivers that were snarky about their tip, drivers that wouldn't stop talking, drivers that drove so slowly I wanted to get out and walk, and drivers that
drove so fast and recklessly that I literally called my mother to tell her I loved her in case I didn't survive.

But this one really, really took the cake.

There I was, in a cab on my way back to my office yesterday afternoon, minding my own business.  My driver was a middle aged man who seemed nice enough.  Suggested a faster route, asked a couple of polite questions, the usual, so I didn't think much of it.

Then, a few blocks shy of my office, out of five minutes of silence he says to me:

"How long does it take a woman before she can tell she's pregnant?"

My response?:

"Uhhhhh...."

And:

Really did not want to answer this question.  This is a question I don't even feel comfortable discussing with the boyfriend, let alone a complete stranger.  But it was weird sitting there in complete silence so the conversation went a little something like this:

Yours Truly: "Um...usually at least a month?"

Cab Driver Who Asks Inappropriate Questions: "I thought a pregnancy test could tell you quicker than that."

YT: "Well.....the test itself usually only takes 2 minutes to complete."

CDWAIQ: "You mean you can have intercourse and 2 minutes later the woman can find out if she's pregnant?"

YT: (Thinking: Please get me out of this cab/He totally had a one night stand last night, didn't he?) "No, no...you have to wait a few weeks before taking the test.  A woman doesn't usually take it until she's...erm...missed a period."

CDWAIQ: "Ohhhh.  It's good for a man to know these things."

YT: (Feeling very, very uncomfortable and wishing there weren't so many damn red lights in Manhattan) "Yeah..."

CDWAIQ: "My wife just got her tubes tied.  And then started menopause."

YT: (Thinking: Way too much information!  And who is he worried is pregnant??) "Oh...um.  I see."

CDWAIQ:  "She tried to talk me into it, but there was no way I was going to do that!"

YT: (Deciding she's getting out of the cab 2 blocks early) "Uh huh." (Thankful that the cab has stopped at another red light) "You know what? You can just let me out here." (Pays as quickly as possible and gets the hell out of the cab)

CDWAIQ: "Have a nice day!"

YT: Walks very, very quickly thinking:



Seriously.  Weirdest and most uncomfortable cab ride I've ever experienced. I'm still shuddering just thinking about it.  This city has no shortage of bizarre people.

10 comments:

MonkeyLOLogist said...

This sounds like a man who needed a biological anthropologist. I would have answered his questions in detail with the same normalcy with which I discuss these topics with my profs and fellow students every day. :p

Liz said...

Now that is a cab I would pay to be in...

Missed Periods said...

Did you see that Seinfeld episode in which Elaine pretended she was hard of hearing so she didn't have to speak to the driver? Just an idea.

Sharyn said...

I always feel like putting a brown paper bag over my head whenever I get into a cab. I try really hard not to think about having gotten into an unknown car with an unknown person. Your story is surely one of the weirder ones.

San said...

LOL. As weird as it was, I would have wanted to know who the heck he thought was prego if his wife's tubes were tied AND she's menopausal.

Dirty birdy, he was, lol.

...and you slay me with the retelling, thanks for that :)

Good luck on future rides :)

San said...

Ooops, forgot to thank YOU for your shout out, was too wrapped up in freakishly weird cabbie land... :) Have a great Bunny Day, Liz :)

Liz said...

I have watched a lot a Seinfeld but I haven't seen that one -- not a bad idea!

I was kind of curious as to WHO he was worried was pregnant if it wasn't his wife. But I'm sure asking would have opened up another uncomfortable can of worms...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Not only would I never ask that question, I wouldn't want to know the answer!
Hope you're enjoying the Challenge.

Langley said...

Yeah, that's a bad cab ride. I had a really terrible one when I lived up there. Something to do with my southern accent and what the cabbie thought southern girls were into?!? Ack.

I’m A-Z Blogging on Langley Writes about Writing and Langley’s Rich and Random Life

Liz said...

Eep! I don't even want to know what he thought! People are crazy.