Wednesday, June 1, 2011

X Is For...


That is the longest word I could find that starts with the letter X. But that makes for a pretty boring post. (If you want to throw a longer word at me -- as long as it's not a medical term or an ingredient in shampoo -- I'm game).

So to avoid the boring I'm going to make a creative decision and change this blog topic to:

"eXplain Why These Things Exist"

I'm really confused about why a few things are out there in the world. If I'm about to offend you I apologize, but maybe then you can help open my eyes.

Confusing thing that exists number 1:

Why are all motorcyclists unattractive old men who usually have beards? Have you ever seen a flock of handsome, well groomed, form-fitting-leather-pants wearing 25 year olds breeze through town on their Harleys? No. Every time I see a motorcyclist I get kind of excited ("Maybe THIS one will be hot!") only to see him from the front a moment later and realize that he looks like this:

I have yet to see a hot biker, and that really bums me out.  If anyone knows where to find one please let me know.

Confusing thing that exists number 2:

Honeydew melon.  Especially honeydew melon on fruit plates one buys for a party.  My sister brought this up to me the other day while tossing out a platter at a bbq after every piece of fruit had been eaten with the exception of the untouched honeydew melon.  And she has a good point.  Yeah, honeydew melon is ok I guess.  It always looks nice and juicy:

But why are you going to pick that if you could have cantaloupe, or strawberries, or hell, even pineapple?  (I happen to always go for the pineapple by the way).  The only fruit I find less appealing that appears on a regular basis is kiwi.  And that one is green as well!  A correlation perhaps? If someone out there is a honeydew melon lover first and foremost please raise your hand.  I would be very interested to meet you.

Confusing thing that exists number 3:

This is the one I'm afraid will offend the most people but I have to get it out of my system.  Every time I receive an email at work with someone whose address ends in this:

I just cannot -- cannot! -- take them seriously on a professional level.  Look, I used to have a Yahoo account.  In fact, I used to have a Hotmail account and I'm not sure which is worse at this point.  Maybe it's even AOL that takes the cake.  But whatever it is, I beg of you please catch up with the times.  By all means, keep your outdated account to catch all your penis-enlarger junk mail.  We all need an email address for that.  But when you're requesting something from one professional to another, you're just not going to be taken seriously.  Or if you write in all caps or in a swirly pink font, but that's a post for a different time.  If you don't have a business account, at least register with Gmail.  I may not roll my eyes when I respond to you that way.  Sorry Yahoo users -- but I gotta be honest with myself and everyone out there.

And those are the 3 most confusing things that exist in my opinion.  

Only 2 posts left until I'm done with the drawn-out A-Z-no-dammit-I'm-not-giving-up challenge!

EDIT: More confusing than yahoo, hotmail and aol addresses are people that do not use email.  I do not understand you, people.  And no, I do not wish to take your call.


Joanne said...

Oh my Gosh you are so right about the Honeydews! The motorcycle guys? well I see your point but I have on occasion seen some cute guys...but in reality you cant be a mr Mcstuddly on a Motor cycle. Its kind of a oxymoron. LOL Blessings, Joanne

M Pax said...

Blogger won't let me comment on a lot of blogs, which has me confused. And yeah, on the bikers. Honeydew is rather tasteless most times. Watermelon would be better.

Liz said...

Watermelon! That is what I left off the list! I think that's the fruit everyone goes for first.