Friday, September 9, 2011

Do You Ever Get The Feeling...

That you're being watched?

You know that episode of "Sex and the City" where Miranda keeps overfeeding her cat in case she dies in her apartment by herself and the cat eats her face?

Sometimes I feel like I should do that.

I think Cleo is pretty trustworthy, and I hope that she would be bummed if she found me out cold on the (I was going to say living room floor but I don't have one, nor do I have a bedroom or kitchen floor so I'll just keep it general) floor of my apartment.  She's can be pretty snuggly/cuddly and seems to appreciate me at least as a necessary tool of survival.

This one however?:


Oh sure, she may look sweet and innocent.  But when these eyes are on me?:


I feel like this:
With ALL the trimmings.

I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to kick the bucket or is actually planning my demise, but I'm fairly certain she sees me as nothing more than a source of food.  And, well, if I'm not able to fill up her dish with Meow Mix then my face will do just as nicely.  Seriously, I have never met such a beggy/greedy/demanding cat in my life.  It's a good thing she's so freaking adorable.

If you find yourself in my position I suggest you refer to this helpful guide by The Oatmeal:

Makes sense, doesn't it?  A scary amount of sense if you ask me...

19 comments:

Sarah Tokeley said...

This is brilliant! I love 'This isn't a gift, it's a warning.'

But you're right, she's very cute :-)

blankenship.louise said...

I love little ear tufts on kitties!

Deborah Walker said...

Ah, that is so funny. I miss cats. We're on a hamster jag at the moment.

Anonymous said...

O_O

Oh, God, I knew it! Excuse me - I have to go lock myself in the bathroom now, before my girls decide to tag-team me...

*runs off*

Dora Hiers said...

Oh my stars! How cute! You made my morning, Liz! Enjoy the weekend.

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha, I can see how them big ol' kitty eyes can make you feel like lunch - I felt like the cat could see me through the screen! She's got those stare-at-yo'-soul eyes!

And thanks for the Oatmeal sketch, he's a funny guy. The whole post makes me giggle.

Well, hopefully Cleo will protect you in the untimely and unlikely event of your passing out on the general floor of your apartment. Wait, that came out darker than I meant...

Thanks for writing =D

Angela Cothran said...

This is the funniest thing I've read all week!!! I always knew cats were evil masterminds :)

julie fedderson said...

Omigod, now I understand the gifts of carnage. It's like the Godfather, but with rodent heads. This was hilarious!

jouskaaftermeantime said...

That's too bad. If only there was the option of a pet that would have epileptic seizures of joy when you get home every day, and would mope and not eat for days when you leave them....oh wait, there is.

Dogs are better!

* runs and hides *

Unknown said...

OMIGOD I think my cat is onto you... the staring contest has already begun.

SERIOUSLY THIS IS MADE OF AWESOME. I'M TWEETING THIS IMMEDIATELY, only to bookmark it for later (if you'll allow me to steal it at some point).

I just finished my novel 30 GUYS IN 30 DAYS where my main character dates an obsessed dog lover who spouts out why owning a cat is deadly (my MC owns a cat)... this was too enjoyable. You're officially my new favorite blog.

Laila Knight said...

I get the feeling I'm being watched all the time, and so I speak to the watchers. Hey there fellow Fantasy writer. I just found you at the Campaign after being gone for a week. Happy to meet you. I'm following you. And I love the kitty.

Anonymous said...

Greetings from a fellow campaigner. I'm in your fantasy group and thought I'd stop by.

I enjoyed your post. The cartoon from the Oatmeal really cracked me up. Your cat looks remarkably like a cat we recently lost named Alia. The ear tufts are great!

Shannon Lawrence said...

Ah ha! That's what they were doing. Hysterical!

Amanda Leigh Cowley said...

Love it! I used to have a couple of cats and someone made the comment that when a cat looks behind you, you know when their eyes are all big and serious looking - well, they give the same look to a harmless fly as they would a serial killer! So, you never know what's going on between their ears... ;o)

Trisha said...

I've seen this before, but I still get a kick out of it. Love it! And my two kitties are cute with a good streak of evil, so I can relate to your fears... hehe

Missed Periods said...

Great! I'm a goner. It was nice blogging with you.

lisa fee said...

So funny I may have wet myself a little ( only jocking lol)
I have always thought cat's were evil, now I have evidence, thank you:-)

Anonymous said...

That was very funny, thanks for sharing!

It's nice to meet you. I'm in your Fantasy Campaigner group, so I'll make sure to check in down the Campaign Trail!

Anonymous said...

All my cats knead on me....my time is limited, isn't it??