Monday, August 30, 2010

Pet My Peeve

Wow. That sounds amazingly dirty.

I've been making concerted efforts to turn over a new leaf and not be such a negative person, and also make sure that my blog is not 100% negative. That being said, I've found that it is much, much easier to bond with others over things we both hate rather than things we both enjoy. This may be especially true for women, but think about it. How amazingly fun is it to relish with glee over the horrendous things in life and share your mutual complaints for hours and hours until the wee hours of the morning? Especially if you're doing so over a bottle of wine.

Think of this not just as a list of my pet peeves, but rather the opening of a dialogue. Please, share with me the things you hate. I welcome the opportunity to bond and bitch over this with you.

Without further ado, I bring you my list of pet peeves:

Peeve 1) People who take elevators to the second floor. Unless you are in four inch heels or have a broken leg, this should not happen. Ever.

Peeve 2) The word "spearhead" when used in a work setting.

Peeve 3) Wearing nothing but socks in bed. This may be my ultimate pet peeve.

Peeve 4) Pork pie hats. I do not understand them. I do not want to understand them. And my irritation tends to increase with the ratio of head to hat. I have provided this handy graph so you can see what I mean:

Peeve 5) Emails that come with requests of receipt. You'll know I got your damn email when I respond to it and not before.

Peeve 6) That one sign in the subways that says something along the lines of: "Do not throw trash on the subway tracks because throwing trash on the subway tracks causes fires and no one wants fires do we no we do not." I don't know who writes these signs but someone should tell them what a run-on sentence is.

Peeve 7) My most recent peeve. People who combine their names on Facebook. Usually (I hope only?) this happens with married couples. I'm sorry, but you are not Jonathan Sarah Westfalen. YOU ARE TWO PEOPLE. FOR GODS SAKE REGAIN YOUR IDENTITIES.

Peeve 8) This one should be obvious, but service providers of any and all kinds. Cable, electricity, airlines... If they have something you need and you can't get anywhere else, you're pretty much fucked.

Those are my main pet peeves. Thank you for reading, and feel free to share your own!

I have the feeling that I will be adding to this list as things occur to me...

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some readers may not know what a pork pie hat is. Well, you can usually find them on hipsters (they are another border-line pet peeve of mine, as is Brooklyn). Here is a photo for your reference:

Please take special note of the head-to-hat ratio.


Eileen Wiedbrauk said...

I think you've just inspired me to do my own Pet My Peeves post. :)

I completely agree with you on #1. Especially when they cram into a full elevator so that other people are STILL waiting for the next elevator to arrive, only to get off on the second floor. Dicks.

Your intro made me think of something else. I had a friend in college who, if you were dressed really cute that day, she'd tell you "You look hot; I hate you." It was kind of off putting at first, but totally truthful in the end. I think every woman does it: she pays the compliment, means it, but is also rather envious.

Don't Drink and Write said...

Back when I was little, this bothered me at home:

Copy and Paste, and ye shall see the bane that was my Saturday morning's existence

Liz said...

Did you just create a blogger profile?

Liz said...

LOL amazing.

MonkeyLOLogist said...

This isn't a pet peeve so much as it's sadly nerdy and an indication of what the majority of my brain is currently devoted to. When I saw your graph I immediately thought "I hope that graph is three dimensional with Irritation on the z-axis, otherwise it doesn't make sense."

*prepares to get swatted*

Liz said...

I....have no idea what that means.
Remember how after senior year of high school I never took math again?