Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Inner Monologue Of A Dog

A Soliloquy Of Oral Fixation

"Hey, look at this! There is something on the ground! I wonder if it goes in my mouth? I shall try putting it in my mouth. It does! It does go in my mouth! Hey, there's something else on the ground! Does this go in my mouth? Yes, yes it does go in my mouth! Oh, and this goes in my mouth too, and this and this, and this goes in my mouth! Wow, so many things on the ground to put in my mouth! Hey, stop trying to take things out of my mouth. Oh well, if you take them out of my mouth I will just put them back in my mouth which is where they belong. Are you going to give me something? You are? Does it go in my mouth? I bet it goes in my mouth. It does! It does go in my mouth! And this goes in my mouth, and this goes in my mouth, and this and this and this and this and this! Everything goes in my mouth! Stop trying to take that away from me. It clearly goes in my mouth. And your foot goes in my mouth, and your hand goes in my mouth, and your shirt goes in my mouth, and your purse goes in my mouth, and your laundry, and your shoes, and the chair, and the table leg, and this box, and the cat, they all go in my mouth! All of them! If I could I would fit the world in my mouth. That is where everything belongs."

6 comments:

Baxter Allen said...

And here I am thinking that all dogs hear in their heads is, "bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, CAT!, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon...."

Liz said...

I don't think that Bo has ever had bacon, or you would probably be right.

MonkeyLOLogist said...

Haha! Love it.

I think, most of the time, this is Smoky's inner monologue.

"......"

Punctuated occasionally by, "....NO ONE IS PETTING ME. THIS IS THE BAD." *seeks human to pester until petting is achieved*

Liz said...

I wish I knew what Cleo's inner monologue is but I can't even begin to guess.

Baxter Allen said...

she's secretly plotting your death (not just yours), and making plans to take over the world. she's like stewie from family guy.

Liz said...

That wouldn't surprise me.